5 Common Say-Do Gaps Leaders Inadvertently Exhibit
By Monique Farmer, APR
As leaders, we’ve put a lot of thought, care and hard work into our journey. We’ve taken the time to cultivate our values, hone our leadership style and develop a philosophy for how we — and our employees — should approach the work to achieve success.
But for many of us, a “Say-Do Gap” often exists between what we expect of the people we lead and what we, as leaders, are doing in the day-to-day. We’re leading with inspiring words but failing to act as that strong, trusted example.
Here are some common examples of the Say-Do Gap, as well as some ideas for how you can close that gap and start living out your leadership style.
As leaders, we’ve put a lot of thought, care and hard work into our journey. We’ve taken the time to cultivate our values, hone our leadership style and develop a philosophy for how we — and our employees — should approach the work to achieve success.
But for many of us, a “Say-Do Gap” often exists between what we expect of the people we lead and what we, as leaders, are doing in the day-to-day. We’re leading with inspiring words but failing to act as that strong, trusted example.
Here are some common examples of the Say-Do Gap, as well as some ideas for how you can close that gap and start living out your leadership style.
Example 1: We encourage work-life balance, but we work around the clock.
You urge your team to seek a healthy level of work-life balance, discouraging them from working late into the evening or missing out on valuable weekend time with friends and family. They may hear your wise words, but when they see your email come through at midnight, or when you text them a non-urgent question over the weekend, it can become harder for employees to absorb your message.
While emergencies do come up, most work needs can wait. Staying true to your word when it comes to work-life balance is a great way to stay on the same page as your team. They’ll see you enjoying life outside of work and feel like they have permission to do the same.
Example 2: We openly and easily give constructive feedback, but we don’t seek it out for ourselves.
A huge part of being in a leadership position is observing the positive accomplishments of your team, as well as areas where improvement is needed and offering feedback. It’s easy for most of us to tell our employees what they can do to be better, but it’s a bit harder to seek feedback for ourselves.
So, what can you do to solicit the feedback you need to keep improving as a leader? In a previous leadership position I held, one in which I wanted to be fully conscious of how I was coming across to employees and peers alike, I sought the insight of a colleague whose opinion I trusted. I gave her my blessing to be brutally honest, and going forward, she let me know when I had said or done something that missed the mark. Her honest feedback allowed me to be a more self-aware leader, while making vital changes that helped both me and my organization succeed.
Example 3: We promote the value of personal and professional growth, but we miss opportunities to grow in our own role.
Along those same lines, a Say-Do Gap often exists when it comes to self-improvement. We encourage our team to continuously improve, both personally and professionally, and we facilitate that process with workshops, classes and books. But despite all that effort, we rarely take the time to focus on our own growth.
As leaders, we’ve come a long way to get where we are, but we aren’t done growing. There is always more to learn about ourselves, our industry, and the tools and tactics available to support us in our role.
When you’re seeking out resources for your team, look for options for yourself too. Maybe it’s an online leadership workshop, or maybe it’s a retreat with fellow leaders where you can discuss challenges and exchange new ideas.
Example 4: We identify problems in our organization and set goals for our team, but we don’t lead the way in making changes.
In the book, “Patton on Leadership: Strategic Lessons for Corporate Warfare,” author Alan Axelrod describes Gen. George S. Patton as never being too good or too proud to march alongside his soldiers or roll up his sleeves to help them get a job done. As leaders, we tend to excel at identifying problems within our organization and setting goals for our team, but the Say-Do Gap comes in when we fail to actively lead the way to reach a particular goal.
When you show your team that you understand a problem and know how to work together to solve it, you build lasting trust that benefits everyone within your organization.
Example 5: We say, “My door is always open,” but we’re unavailable when we’re truly needed.
This is a common one. We encourage open dialogue and tell our team we are always available for input or collaboration, but when push comes to shove, our door is rarely open. In the moments we’re needed most, we’re inaccessible, unavailable or unresponsive.
In this case, one important way to close the gap is to set clear parameters for your availability, and then stick with it. If you say you are available at a particular time, or on set days, then make sure you stay true to your word. If you’re going to be busy with meetings or a hot deadline, then let your team know you’ll be out of pocket for a while.
The smaller your Say-Do Gap is, the more trust your team will have in your leadership abilities, the more confidence they’ll have in the future of your organization, and the more motivation they’ll have to succeed. Take some time to reflect on the gaps in your leadership style and start making small changes to show your team you can walk the talk.
Monique Farmer, APR
Monique Farmer, APR, runs a PR/Communication Consultancy, Avant Solutions, and is the creator of Anvil Ready, an online communication strategy builder that helps communication professionals create communication plans. She has taught at the University of Texas at Austin, the University of Nebraska at Lincoln and the University of Nebraska at Omaha. Farmer spent 12 years working in the federal government before her time in corporate communications at ConAgra Foods (now ConAgra Brands), then leading communication strategy for Nebraska’s largest school district. In March 2024, she published her first book, Chart Your Path: A 9-step Method to Getting Unstuck.