By Monique Farmer, APR
Well, it happened. That dreaded phone call. It wasn’t the “Congratulations!” I was hoping for. Instead, I learned my application for a professional credential got the thumbs down.
Let me just be honest for a second. It stings. It stings because I poured my heart, soul, early mornings and late nights into the application process. But here’s the kicker: as much as rejection feels like a punch to the gut, it might just be the unlikely superhero my professional journey needs at this juncture. It’s not the first time I’ve had to transform a sour lemon into lemonade. I’ve made lemon martinis with a few of those eye-watering, tart lemons. But, in all honesty, here’s the mental exercise rejection generates inside me. It may look familiar to you as well:
The “Am I Good Enough?” Blues
Let’s address the elephant in the room – that nasty little voice in our heads that starts chirping the moment we face rejection. You know the one:
“Am I even cut out for this?” “Did I miss something obvious?” “What do they see that I don’t?”
These thoughts are like those pop-up ads on sketchy websites – annoying, distracting and seriously bad for your mental health. But here’s a secret: even in a storm of self-doubt, there’s a silver lining if you’re willing to look for it.
The Subjectivity Game
Here’s a brain-bender for you: success is subjective. Mind. Blown. Right?
That committee’s decision? It’s less about your awesomeness and more about their preferences, standards and maybe even what they had for breakfast that day. It’s like when your friend insists pineapple belongs on pizza – it’s not an objective truth, it’s just their opinion (even if it’s wrong, sorry pineapple pizza lovers).
Understanding this subjectivity is like finding the cheat code in a video game. Suddenly, rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth – it’s just one perspective in a world full of them.
Embracing Your Inner Rockstar
When rejection has you questioning your worth, it’s time to channel your inner diva and remember just how fabulous you are. Here’s how:
- Take a Trip Down Memory Lane: Grab a pen and paper (or your fancy iPad, you tech-savvy genius) and list out your wins. Big, small, doesn’t matter. Finished that project? Write it down. Didn’t cry during a tough meeting? That’s a win, baby!
- Be a Feedback Ninja: Reach out to that committee and ask for the dirt. What didn’t they like? What could you improve? It’s like getting the answer key after a tough exam – pure gold for your next attempt.
- Rally the Troops: Call up your squad. You know, those awesome people who think you’re all that and a bag of chips. Let them remind you of your awesomeness. Sometimes we all need a little cheerleading.
- Talk to Yourself (In a Good Way): Stand in front of that mirror and tell yourself you’re a boss. “I am capable,” “I am resilient,” “I am the master of headline writing.” Whatever works for you!
- Level Up: Use this as your origin story. Every superhero has one. Take a course, attend a workshop, find a mentor. Show that rejection who’s boss by becoming even more awesome.
Turning Pain into Your Superpower
Alright, time for some alchemy. We’re going to turn this rejection into pure gold:
- Build That Resilience Muscle: Think of rejection as your personal trainer. It’s tough, it makes you sweat, but boy, does it make you stronger.
- Flip the Script: Instead of “failure,” let’s call it a “plot twist.” Who knows what awesome opportunity is just around the corner because of this redirect?
- Goal Makeover: Time to reassess those goals. Are they still what you want? Maybe this rejection is just pointing you towards something even better.
- Be Your Own Best Friend: Would you tell your bestie they’re a failure because of one setback? No? Then don’t do it to yourself, you wonderful human!
- Celebrate the Small Stuff: Did you get out of bed today despite feeling down? That’s a win. Ate a vegetable? Winning! Keep stacking those small victories.
Rejection is about as much fun as a root canal. But here’s the truth bomb: it’s not the end of my story or yours. It’s just a spicy plot twist. Our worth isn’t defined externally. External validation is artificial validation. My worth is defined by my resilience, growth and my talent for rocking yoga pants with a pink and green blazer on a Zoom meeting while working from home.
Rejection, however uncomfortable, is a part of the professional journey. I’m learning to invite it in for coffee, let it teach me how to get comfortable with it and to keep going after hard things.
